For the Sake of Bromance

I am fascinated with the idea of "The Bromance." The fact that two men can bond so tightly together that their worlds may fall apart if they are separated for too long.

There are so many great bromances throughout our pop culture! Some of the most notable bromances in our current Culture would be Chandler and Joey from Friends or Schmidt and Nick from New Girl. I have always been fascinated with the different bromances. What bonds men so tightly that separating them would not only affect their lives, but the lives of those around them?

The more I have thought about this bromance relationship, the more I have realized it is something that we-- as women-- should encourage. I have five reasons for this.

1.      They need someone that shares their likes and dislikes...

Honestly, as a girl, there is so much I don't understand about the male psyche and probably never will. That all being said, he is going to need someone that understands his love of Halo or the fact that he could be a bottomless pit sometimes.

One of the first bromances that came to mind is the 99's own Hitchcock and Scully.  Brooklyn Nine-Nine has a couple fantastic bromances, most notably Jake and Charles. For this post, I want to fixate on Hitchcock and Scully.

These two have been entwined in each other's lives since the Academy. They have been through both of their marriages, and for sure, Scully's divorces, and have been side by side for eternity. Their love of sitting and food binds them together. Their love and respect for each other rank them as #1 of the B-99 bromances.

Males can bond over the simplest things. Favorite sports teams, video game choices, or even how to cook ribs are just a few. It is amazing how a bond starts but can last a lifetime. Sharing likes and dislikes is important for any relationship, they promote understanding and make for better-spent quality time.

We, women, recognize the need to have girlfriends that share our love for similar movies or books. Maybe that is just me.  But that is just it. There will be baseball or football games that I don't want to sit through, so encouraging him to go out with his guys is a win-win. He enjoys the game or gaming time, and I am free to invite my girls over for a movie starring some good-looking leading man!

2.      Someone to hold him accountable for growing.

I actually have two examples for this one. First, let's look at Nick Miller and Winston Schmidt from New Girl. These two met in college and have been inseparable ever since... not for-a-lack of trying on Nick's part.

Schmidt has made it his life's project to make Nick be a productive member of society. Watching Nick grow from being a lazy, cynical bartender to becoming the bestselling author of the Pepperwood Chronicles, is the perfect example of Schmidt's loving influence. Schmidt encouraged Nick in life and love, trying to be his wingman and biggest fan.

Nick helped Schmidt turn from a chronic douchebag to a devoted husband and father. There are many beautiful moments between these two bros. The moment that resonates the most with me is during Schmidt's wedding. The glass Schmidt breaks is the "douche jar," symbolizing the end of his cringy bachelorhood and his next step into husband hood.

The second example of a bromance encouraging growth is Ferris and Cameron from Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Ferris wanted nothing more than just one day for his best friend, girlfriend, and himself to live out an adventure before they went their separate ways after graduation. He doesn't give Cameron a choice about playing hooky from school. This "adventure," according to Ferris, is for his benefit. Getting Cameron to embrace the crazy and stand on his own two feet is all that Ferris wants for his straight-laced friend. There is a need for reasonable boundary-pushing. Ferris pushed him so far out of that comfort zone in one day; the next time he decides to test his limits, it will be a little easier.

Cameron reminds Ferris of the reality that is the harsh world. This may be a great day, but it is just a day. He grounds Ferris -- in a bit of a downer way -- but it is the check that Ferris needs so that he can weave some reality into the fantasy he creates around him. Without Cameron, there would be no filter on Ferris, no concern for others.

I want a man that is growing into something better because he wants to, not because he is simply trying to impress me. If my man is getting encouragement and support for future endeavors outside of our relationship then I should be rejoicing because I know that he is headed in the right direction. Now, in my particular situation, my future man is following God so I would follow him anyway. It is just good to know that he has friends by his side as well.

3.      Someone to understand his quirks and inside jokes.

I've always been jealous of guys that have perfected handshakes. There are history and crazy stories built up behind that shake, and as the new girl coming into their world, there will be a lot to catch up on.

D.C.'s Legends of Tomorrow shows a great bromance between Ray Palmer and Nate Haywood. These two were Bros-at-first-sight. Their friendship is one of inside jokes and a lot of geeking out. They immediately bonded over their love of Steven Spielberg movies and history. It isn't a stretch that an inventive boy scout and snarky historian would come together over their fascination with Time Travel and saving the world. The whole Waverider crew has their inside jokes and special relationships but none are more prevalent than SteeleAtom.

Another Bromance that accentuates the quirks of each other's background is Captain James T. Kirk and Science Officer Spock of Star Trek. These two are as different as night and day, and it took a bit of time to come to an understanding. Their relationship is one that is based on how their strengths and weakness complement each other. James knows that Spock is going to be the logic behind the scheme and Spock knows to trust James even when he seems crazy.

I know that I going to have moments when I don't understand something that my man will do... only because he will have moments when he has no idea what I am talking about. It would be wonderful to know that he has someone in his life that knows what he is talking about most of the time. Just like Chloe knows what I am talking about more often than not.

4.      Someone to go war to war with him.

I am a stubborn girl and I know there are going to be days that we fight and I would not budge. As much as it may be annoying to know that he is being told that he is right by someone else, it is good to know that he has someone to vent to and fight alongside.

A great example of friends that are ready to go to war at any moment is Steve & Bucky from the Captain America franchise. These two were childhood best friends and each is ready to fight for the other whenever needed. This is evident when Bucky is brainwashed and Steve goes to the ends of the earth to get his buddy back. Even now with The Falcon and Winter Soldier, it is evident that Bucky is doing everything he can to make sure that he lives up to the man that Steve thought he could be, and protect the symbol that Steve became.

The 1960s spy-spoof Man From U.N.C.L.E follows the illustrious partnership of Napoleon Solo and Illya Kuryakin. These two are always by each other side. They trust each other to be there in the hardest of moments and share many inside jokes. Their brotherhood is also forged around the battlefield.

I want my man to have someone that is there through our hardships. I am going to be complaining to my girlfriends about little things that he does, so why would I deny him guys that he can vent to about me?

5.      Someone to take his side when he needs it...

Now this one is a bit similar to the "war" one, but it is slightly different in the idea that this is someone that he can also stand with. Boy Meets World's Cory Matthew and Shawn Hunter show the need for a partner in life in general. As these boys wander their way through huge life problems and the mind field of love they acted as each other's safe harbor. They created a calm relationship that stood still during life's storms, and each would refuge in that even in the most chaotic of circumstances. Even when they are fighting they are never far from each other.

Topanga knows that Shawn is always going to be a massive part of Cory's world and though she has Cory's love, so does Shawn, just in a different way. No matter what was going on between Cory and Topanga, Shawn rarely took Topanga's side, and if he did it was because it was what would be best for Cory. Cory rarely took Angela's or Shawn's father's side whenever Shawn was in the thick of a moral dilemma because Cory knew Shawn just needed someone to see his side, so Shawn felt heard.

I want to know that my man is supported from all sides. If he doesn't have any friends to lift him up then I am supporting him all on my own and that is not good for either of us. We are supposed to be there through the hard times, yes! But those hard times can also drain us and if neither of us feels safe going to our friends for support and reenergizing then we could end up frayed and hopeless.

There are, of course, downfalls to the Bromance. It can distract from the desire for real co-ed relationships, and it can be intimidating for a girl to come into their circle. No girl wants to be the Yoko Ono that breaks up the band.

Even with those fears in the back of my brain, I want my man to be well-rounded and healthy in all of his relationships. If that means I have to foster a relationship with his best friend to make that happen you bet I will.

Until Next Time,

Peace Out, Lovers!