Forgive and Forget

What a weird saying that is…

How hard is it for people in this world to forgive each other and not hold a grudge? It isn’t as easy as people make it seem. There is another saying that pops into my head when talking about forgiveness, “Slow to anger and quick to forgive.”

That saying comes from a verse in the Bible (Psalm 145:8). The verse tells us that anger can lead to folly if we make it a quick action, but when we are kind to each other and easily forgiving we are displaying God’s love. As Christ followers we need to strive to be like Christ in every way. What would happen if this world was full of people who hold grudges? I don’t even want to imagine what it would be like…

Personally, I have held grudges and they are not fun because I can feel it just eating at me all day. People think that staying angry will make a difference in the other person’s life, but in all reality the one that it is hurting is yourself. When you forgive it is like a giant weight is lifted and you can go on living your life knowing that the ball is no longer in your court.

Forgiveness is not a normal knee jerk response when someone comes up to you and confesses something big. I just saw an example of this in season 1 of the TV show Ted Lasso. In this scene Ted’s boss, Rebecca, finally musters up the courage to approach Ted and apologize for the way she has been trying to sabotage all he is doing. At first when she hired Ted, she wanted him to crash and burn just to get back at her ex-husband for cheating on her, but in all reality, she was hurting everyone else around her and the only way to get out of the corner she backed herself into is to confess and ask forgiveness.

When I first saw this episode with my brother, I remember looking at him and saying, “Holy crap, that scene was so powerful I hope people see this and take it to heart.” I was crying Dear Readers, CRYING! It hurts me that more people are not compassionate enough to just forgive and forget.

Now there is a double-edged sword to this because I can forgive but sometimes it is hard to forget. When you “forget” you may still feel the effects it left but you are no longer holding that destructive power over the offender’s head. You learn from that experience and work hard to make sure you are more careful/aware in the future. Forgiving does not mean giving them your full trust again, it just means that you are giving up the grudge and moving on to become a better person.

For example, Peter Parker in Spider-man 3 was being asked for forgiveness by the man who killed his Uncle Ben. Sandman may have done a lot of things wrong in his life but when he had the opportunity to apologize for his actions, he took it.

I cannot imagine how hard it was for Peter to openly forgive the man that took away his uncle, who was like a father to him. I don’t ever think Peter will forget that day, but I am sure now that he knows the whole story, he is more at peace with the fact that his Uncle Ben was doing what he does best, help people. Forgiving Sandman was not easy, but I am sure it lifted a huge weight off Peter’s shoulders in the long run. He was able to forgive but the forgetting part is tricky, but I am sure Peter will be able to find joy in knowing what exactly happened to his uncle.

Do not hold onto anger, Dear Reader, for it will eat you alive. Only worry about the things that you can control because if you spend too much time thinking about how others can change and how they need to be better you will fall down a rabbit hole and you may never get out. Another wonderful saying is, “Kill them with kindness” and that one I do very often.

Kindness was shown to us by God and in order to change the world we must be kind and show compassion and hope that it influences people to live that way as well.

Larryboy was able to let go of his anger and forgive which showed everyone else in town they could do it to. When we lead by example change will come!

I pray every day, Dear Readers, that you will all live a life that follows Christ and that you all strive everyday to be more like Him.

Until next time,

Peace Out Lovers!