I Am Not A Girlfriend
I am not girlfriend material.
I’m serious!
A “Girlfriend” is defined as “a frequent or favorite female companion.” “Girlfriend” is a transitional title or position. I am transitioning from friend to a “frequent or favorite female companion.” I love that definition, because of the subtle truth. When you start the “getting-to-know-you-process” you are mostly friends, it isn’t until you have been out with each other several times that you start considering a title upgrade. But the transition from “Friend” to “Girlfriend” is so passive.
What really changes when you get that slight relationship upgrade? Not much. Becoming a “Girlfriend” really just offers some more physical benefits. Once you are a “Girlfriend” there is a bit more of an understanding that the physical benefits are exclusive to your level of intimacy.
But we are all trying to get that final upgrade to “Wife.” The upgrade from “Girlfriend” to “Wife” should be a very active process because the title upgrade comes with several responsibilities. Candidates have a few areas of experience that they should be prepared for.
1. Physical
Let’s be honest, there are physical tasks that come with this particular promotion. I am not even really thinking about sex, but about the ability to keep house. Now before someone goes to yell at me about gender roles, know this… I don’t care!
Proverbs 31 outlines the attributes of “The Wife of Noble Character.” This chapter states at least three different ways that she provides for the family: She manages her family and servants, trades for-profit, and even makes her own clothing for the household. Now, of course, I am not taking all of this literally, but we do see that a “Wife” is to be a hard worker. In today’s culture, this can look like anything, a working “Wife” or a stay-at-home-“Wife.”
“She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.”
The promotion to “Wife” comes with a household so there should be some expectation for hard work.
2. Emotional
A promotion to “Wife” comes with emotions, fights, misunderstandings, and other emotional highs and lows. As a “Wife,” you are now committed to your Man “until death do you part.” This means that there is an understanding that you will get through this together.
I know that as women we can be a bit dramatic, and there are times we don’t even understand why. But it is during those times that we need to be careful. These are the moments when a woman can be at her most vicious trying to bring her loved ones to her level. But, Biblically, a Godly or Noble Woman should be a support and rock for her Man. He has his place in the community and her faithfulness is his launching pad.
“Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life,”
Now, I am not letting the Man off the hook, in his promotion to “Husband” he needs to be ready to deal with the emotions that we cannot control. He needs to uphold his end of the bargain as well.
“Nevertheless; each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”
3. Mental
If you are considering applying for the promotion to “Wife” you need to be mentally prepared. As you are growing up you are growing into yourself, and there is a need to love that person for who YOU are. When you are okay and even happy with yourself, that is when you are ready to accept and commit to the love of someone else.
There is also a need to be mentally strong because your “Husband” may need to rely on you for some really serious decisions. You need to be strong enough to override emotions and see some logic.
“She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.”
There is also a need to be mentally stable if the promotion later yields kids. They will most definitely ask the impossible or uncomfortable questions. You need to be prepared.
4. Spiritual
The “Husband” is/should be the spiritual head of the household, but there is a need to be spiritually strong as a “Wife” too. You can speak into your “Husband’s” life as long as you are in tune with God as well.
God made Woman to be a companion to Man, but they both got to walk with God in the garden. The only way you are going to be considered for a promotion to “Wife,” in a Godly relationship, is if you are walking side by side with God and your “Husband.” The promotion to “Wife” does not diminish the necessity of your relationship with God, so do not think that your “Husband” is going to go ahead of you alone, you need to be in step with him.
“Charms is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.”
If you are in consideration for this type of promotion, are you prepared in these areas? Each person will get there in their own timing, and maybe right now you are still trying to master yourself in the “Friend” or “Girlfriend” stages of relationship.
So I will say it again… I am not “Girlfriend” material.
I am “Wife” material.
Until Next Time,
Peace Out Lovers!
