I Choose True Love…

I don’t believe in soulmates.

            As a Hopeless Romantic, I think I just committed the ultimate sin, but soulmates are not real. Soulmates imply that there is little either party needs to do to come together. They are yin and yang and they just fit, it has already been determined in the stars that these particular people will be together. It simply isn’t true!

            According to the Dictionary, Soulmate means, “a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner.” Now, this definition adds the possibility of friendship also being soulmate material as well, and I don’t agree with this either. I think where I trip up is the word “ideally.” Ideals change all the time, so what may have made the ideal friend for you in elementary school may not be what you need in your college life or even in your adult life. My best friends in elementary school haven’t talked to me in years because we aren’t the same people anymore. My intimate circle of friends that I have now is different in every aspect of who they are and their personalities, but as I have grown so have they, and our ideal began to align more than ever. Personally, I think this is because God is the center of our personal lives, so our paths toward him help us stay together.

            Romance is the same way. Growing up I thought I wanted a guy that would sneak flowers into my locker or steal me away for hours to do something spontaneous, but as I grew up and learned really quickly that I don’t like spontaneity… at all. In college, I thought I was okay with just being on the couch while he plays video games and I read a book. Just being in the same room was wonderful, but being on the same couch with my feet buried beneath his leg for warmth was better. Ideals change, but with God as the center of my life, I know that I will meet someone that aligns with me. But I don’t think he is just going to appear and be perfect for me.

            I may not believe in soulmates, but I do believe in True Love. There is a difference for me. Love is work. Chloe wrote about that last year, and she is right. Love is not a guarantee, and nothing is destined to be.

            God gave humans free will for a reason. The phrase, “There is plenty of finish in the sea” exists because it is true. There is only one instance in all of humanity where it is said that a couple was made specifically for each other, and that was Adam and Eve, and even they had their struggles and problem. True love is something that a person works at and compromises for, and a person can do those things for anyone they want.

             There are so many great examples in pop culture that demonstrate that love is a choice. My last post, the one about Amy and Rory “Pond” Williams is just one example. Another perfect example is my all-time favorite movie Ball of Fire.

            This golden age Hollywood treasure spotlights an opposites-attract screwball comedy about a worldly lounge singer and a book-smart professor.

            This movie is a loose retelling of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Our Hero, Professor Bertram Potts, is the youngest of eight professors that are assigned to writing an encyclopedia for the Totten Foundation. They are bachelors, living in the same house, devoting their lives to this educational venture. Miss Sugarpuss O’Shea, our Heroine, is a popular lounge singer that is going steady with a notorious “business” man, Joe Lilac, and suddenly has to go on the lamb because the police are looking for her to witness against Joe.

Professor Bertram Potts is out on the town looking for slang that he can use to update his encyclopedia entry on the topic. He goes around inviting people to participate in his research. Because of this, we get the most adorable meet-cute that turns out to be just one giant misunderstanding.

She does eventually end up helping out the professor while hiding out from the police. Bertram vehemently opposed the idea of her staying in the house with them. Trying to reason with her that eight bachelors and one lady would be highly inappropriate. She wore down his walls with a little help from the fascinated professors and a small threat that he wouldn’t be able to use her in his research.

These two are night and day, almost literally. He is awkward and literal. She is sassy and abrasive. But they work well together, and the other professors have adopted her into their little tight knit circle. She is killing time with this squares waiting for Joe to come and get her, but these men were growing attached to her. At the same time Joe is making developments to ensure that the DA cannot use her as a witness. The police are tightening their look and Miss O’Shea is desperate to stay hidden so she makes the only play she is sure will work.

Her position now clinched, she was certainly not ready for what happened next… she fell in love. A nightclub singer that was looking for an easy meal ticket that came with an expense account, Joe fit that bill. Out of nowhere, this simple, literal-minded professor comes into her life and she can’t see straight. Bertram is flabbergasted by her forwardness, but for him, it was just confirmation that his feelings of loneliness may be coming to a close.

I have been trying to make the argument that True Love requires work, or for the most part, seeing someone for their faults. When it is revealed that Miss O’Shea had only been toying with their emotion, his particularly, they were hurt but they understood her reasoning. In fact, they accepted that her choice of mate made better sense in the long run. They didn’t need a woman to distract them.

 I am going to let Sugarpuss explain why she loves him…

I love this movie because it show that opposites can make a choice to love. Whether it is a story out of the 1940s or from today there is no guarantee that they are going to live happily ever after. It is not written in some cosmic book that these two will be together forever. This is a choice that they make, they will need to work hard at understand each other and even harder at loving the differences that they will have.

But I chose to believe that these two are going to make it, because they truly want to… despite coming from two completely different background. They can grow together.

Until Next Time,
Peace Out Lovers!