Love is the Word

What is love?

The dictionary definition of love is, “an intense feeling of deep affection,” and “a great interest and pleasure in something.” But those are just definitions…WHAT DO THEY MEAN? How does that describe anything?

I want to give you a little glimpse into my life, Dear Reader, and how love has molded me into the woman I am today.

LOVE IS WORK! 

Love is a verb. If you walk around in life thinking that love is just an emotion that you randomly get, you are sadly mistaken. There are so many ways that love can come to light.  Love may come out of nowhere and your heart stops for a moment as you look into their eyes and think, “WOW this could be it.”

Love does not come without obstacles in life. In fact, when I say love is work it is true because when you truly love someone you have stopped thinking about yourself and started thinking about what is best for your partner. You are willing to push through the silly arguments or the major trials together. The messy bits may not seem romantic, but that is what I am most looking forward to in my relationship. Let me tell you though if you are not willing to put forth the effort it takes to walk through Hell with your partner then you are not ready for love. 

Make sure your partner is filling your love tank. I talked about the “love tank” in my Enchanted post and talked about the 5 Love Languages. If you are in a relationship where you are giving 110% every day and your partner is feeling loved and thriving, but you are not receiving your love language then you start to lose passion and interest. You are in a one-way relationship. Relationships are supposed to be a two-way street where both parties need to give and receive.

“Emily Aside:
As a girl that has experienced a one-way relationship, it is hard to recognize the signs. I would encourage you to pay attention to how many excuses you are creating for your significant other.”

My family recently did a study on the 5 Love Languages while on vacation together. Now that may not seem fun, but on the contrary, it was the most meaningful experience in my life. We were able to talk about the different ways love affects our lives and how we can learn to use the knowledge of love to strengthen our relationship. Something I learned was that some of us receive different love languages from different people. For example, my mother’s love language from my father is Physical Touch, and her love language from us kids is Words of Affirmation. For me personally, I only receive one; Physical Touch, and I can get that from both friends and family. Now that we have communicated what makes each of us tick, we are able to fill each other’s love tank properly.

This brings me to my next point on how to love, and that, Dear Readers, is communication. I am so sick and tired of watching movies and TV shows where communication between the romantic couple is thrown out the window because no one wants to talk about their feelings. This is silly and you should not believe it! When you communicate any sort of emotion to your partner you are successfully letting them know that you have something to say. Instead of keeping quiet and letting it blow out of proportion, talk about it with your partner before you go poking around for trouble.

For example, in many Hallmark movies, the main character overhears the wrong part of a conversation, sees the wrong image, or just altogether jumps into conclusions. They blame the other person and leave or runs away because they think that is better than just straight up confronting the situation. I am sorry but if I was spying on a conversation, I would not leave in the middle…I mean seriously who just leaves without hearing the whole conversation?

“Emily Aside:
Trust grows when communication grows. You TRUST your best friend because you talk to them about anything. The more you talk to your Significant Other the more you will trust them to understand where you are and how to help you.”

In the movie Love Story, there is a line that the two main characters say to each other; “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” This is a lie! If you mess up the first thing you should do is take responsibility for it, because that just shows you are acknowledging the fact that you messed up and you are truly sorry. This also sparks a chance to begin communication about what went wrong, and for both of you to get your feelings out in the open. Contrary to popular belief neither males nor females have telepathy so if you are waiting for your partner to read your mind… it is not going to happen.

PLEASE Dear Readers, if you get anything out of this PLEASE know that communication is your best friend. A great example of someone who is always saying how he feels and is not afraid to say what is on his mind is Chuck Bartowski from the TV show Chuck. This guy is the sweetest nerd you will ever meet and even though his life is dangerous and chaotic he is never afraid to tell his partners what emotions are running through his head. This includes telling his love interest Sara how he feels no matter what her reaction is. Chuck also never puts himself first even when at gunpoint. His priorities are putting family first, then his partners, then himself which makes him the perfect guy you would want in your corner.

Another lesson I have learned this year is that love comes in many shapes and sizes. What I mean is that as you are thinking about your life and how you think your “meet-cute” will look like, but love is going to hit you from a different direction and catch you off guard. My aunt told me that if I asked her to describe her dream man, she would not describe her husband. This took me off guard because I was thinking, then why did you marry him? She said, “Your uncle was my best friend. He would go on dates and then call me up and tell me about them. I never thought about dating him until one day he looked at me and said, ‘What if we dated?’ And after that it is history.”

Dear Reader, I am not saying to throw all your lists away about your dream guy but instead, use them as a reference to make sure that the partner you are looking for fits your taste. God will put the correct man in your life if you trust in the process. Personally, my taste changes every day in my head but when I go to write it down, I find that I had already written it but in a different way. So even though my mind is bouncing I can keep my options open to what I know I like. Let me give you a hint it is mainly nerdy cute boys.

“Emily Asides:
I believe that God creates our lists so he will bring us exactly what we are looking for because he is the one that created the desire. But he will bring you your Mr. Right whether you are paying attention or not.”

Speaking of lists, I have one and the most important #1 thing on my list is: He must love God first. My love for Christ is the most important thing in my life right now, and if I cannot find someone who matches my passion for Him then I know I will be going down a path of misery. God has been the center of my life since I was born. My grandparents, my parents, and my aunts and uncles have all shown me the true power of God’s love as I have grown over the years. They have shown me that true love comes from within and it is our job to have God shine through so that those around us feel loved too.

I firmly believe that my actions (most of the time) are reflections of God’s love for me, and I am just showing others how it feels to be loved. Some of my friends with come from broken homes and are unsure what love is, or they come from fantastic homes and know exactly what love is but still need support when things go wrong, and they feel safe to turn to me. That is what it means to be in a relationship, and this can also be used for a romantic relationship. Make sure you and your partner are on the same page before diving too deep.

I am going to be honest Dear Reader, I have never had a boyfriend, so my romantic knowledge of love is very limited, but I will say that I am a “professional” people watcher and I have seen romantic love expressed in many different ways. I have been able to take those observations over the years and use them to help those who ask me for advice on their relationship, even though they know full well I have no personal experience.

God has a plan for me, and my future, and I believe that even when I am lonely, and there are days when I just ache for that special someone to be near me so I can talk to them. Some days are harder than others and doubt starts to sneak in, and that is when I look to God, family, and friends for support, and then I am back on my feet. Can I let you in on a little secret? I pray EVERY DAY for my future husband and that God will be the center of our lives and when we meet it will be His will and not ours.

I have thrown a lot at you Dear Reader and I am not sorry. I hope that this truth will stick with you, at least you will think about one of the main points I have made. I want to reiterate that this is 100% my opinion. I just wanted to share my true feelings because I feel like it is important to keep open communication with people. Maybe you are struggling with something, Dear Reader, and this post is exactly what you needed... you are not alone. That is what the comment section is for; give feedback but also to let us know how you are feeling so we can help reassure you that there is hope out there. Emily and I are just here to help as we ALL navigate our way through this crazy little thing called love.

Until Then,

Peace Out Lovers.