Sacrificial Love
Hello Dear Readers!
I have been doing a lot of thinking about how I want this post to go and I was going to do another movie analysis but I have been listening to a lot of Christian women lately with their husbands talking about relationship things and I thought I would share some of their ideas with you because there were WONDERFUL things that were said that I think many people need to hear.
“Love isn’t a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.”
First off I wanted to start with this quote. I found this quote in the kids' reading center in my local library when I was taking my nephew around to go find books. Two things instantly popped into my head when I read this. 1. OMG Mr. Rogers is amazing and I love him 2. Why is a quote this powerful hidden in the kid's reading area?
It occurred to me that most of the kids there could not read, but then I thought it is for those of us that have kids and need that encouraging boost. Mr. Rogers is a smart man and he inspired a lot of people with his kid's TV show. In that quote there is one line that sticks out the most, "It is an active noun like struggle." Wow, he hit the nail right on the head, and I said that in a previous post that love is work.
A question has been popping into my head recently, "What does love mean? Like truly mean?" Love is a word that is thrown out a lot in our normal language. Don't get me wrong this is NOT a bad thing. In fact, I say it all the time to my best friends as they leave my house and head home. I truly mean it every time I say it because I do love them, but do I LOVE them?
A normal dictionary definition states that love is, "an intense feeling of deep emotion." Yes, this is true but love is so much more than that. When true Godly love is shown it is more than an emotion, it is an act of sacrifice. I hope, Dear Readers, that even if you are not religious you are actively seeking a partner who is willing to put your needs, hopes, and dreams before their own. In my personal opinion, my list is 1. God 2. Family 3. Friends 4. Me because that is the order of needs that have to be tended to before I can even think about myself.
Does this mindset get me into trouble sometimes because I am not thinking about my own needs? Absolutely NOT! Many people think that they need to look out for #1 because if they look out for others who will look out for them? Well, Dear Readers I am here to tell you that if you truly put God first then you will ALWAYS have someone there to catch you when you fall and to hold you when you cannot walk. Subconsciously we all build a small little community of people that will be there to support us when we are feeling low or when life gets tough and we need a shoulder to cry on. If those people are not willing to drop what they are doing when they hear you cry for help then they should not be in your life because they do not love you.
God is the first one to ever show a sacrificial love. His love is overwhelming and if we accept the sacrifice He made for us we can access His love and pass it to others. If God is not first in your relationship or in your lives you are not able to live the life you were meant to live. Sure you can still love each other, but to me it is hard to know what love is if you have never accepted a true example of it.
Sadie Robertson Huff and her husband Christian were talking on her podcast about when it was ok to say, "I love you." This question was easy for them because they had set boundaries at the beginning of their relationship and one of their stipulations was that they were not allowed to say, "I love you" until they truly knew each other and they had heard each other's stories. Christian said that he knew he loved Sadie one night when they were up until 4 am talking about life and where they wanted the relationship to go. This kept them from steering away from God’s plan and instead walked with the Holy Spirit together.
“We do not normally stay up that late, but that was the night that I truly felt that I was ready to put away all my needs and follow God’s plan and take care of Sadie’s needs first.”
In a similar podcast with Joel and Moriah Smallbone, they talk about how Moriah had so much fear in their relationship because she thought that they were making too many big steps. When Joel asked her to marry him she was scared at first, but then the fear seemed to wash away because she knew with her whole heart that she was ready to be with Joel for better or worse.
“The true definition of love is caring about someone else’s happiness before your own, and to me, that is pure sacrificial love.”
God has a special plan for us all whether we like to admit it or not. There are people in our lives that God puts there for a reason and there are others that God brings to us so we can be that life preserver for them.
It is HARD to love! But in my eyes those of us that are willing to take those next steps into the fire, not knowing if we will get burned, those are the people worth standing by because you know that they would fight with you to the death.
One quick example I want to put out there because this couple is a great example and I truly love their relationship. In the book series/movies, To All the Boys I Have Loved Before, we go on a journey with Lara Jean and Peter Kavinsky. I am not going to go into details about them because I think they can be their own blog post, but what I wanted to point out that they traveled through the rocky road together and they came out on top. When Lara Jean decides to go to a college that is across the country, Peter begins to doubt her love for him because he is insecure about not being chosen. After reuniting with his dad and having a serious talk with him he realizes that not only did he hurt LJ but he doubted her love for him. They have been through so much together and instead of giving up he decides to let her follow her dreams and make long distance work. He sacrificed his time and plans to make sure she is happy and in a place that she feels comfortable.
Peter never wanted to hurt LJ, but when that seed of fear and doubt is planted it is hard to weed it out. Even if they did not get back together I whole-heartedly believe that LJ would not have hated Peter, but instead, she would have cherished the time they had and moved on to find someone who would walk with her (thank goodness Peter came back because I don't know what I would have done).
My point, Dear Reader, is that love is a thing that should not be thrown around or taken for granted. Instead, it is something that needs to be cherished and cared for. Love is fragile and can be broken easily if trust is also not built into it. If you are currently looking for love I hope this post encourages you to find someone who truly cares enough about you that they will be willing to sacrifice their time and plans for you, BUT this also needs to be reciprocated by you as well. Make sure that you are willing to sacrifice for him too. Love is worth fighting for!
Until then,
Peace Out Lovers!
