Nightmares and Sweet Dreams

“Emily!!”

His terror ripped through the house, jolting me out of my book. What was that about? A second scream pierced the air and I was on my feet.

Liam sat upright in our bed, his breath was short and harsh. There was no color in his cheeks, but it was his dilated pupils that caught my attention. He whispered my name and something about not leaving him or not being able to find me. I waited for a second longer assessing whether he was awake or still dreaming.

He let out another scream, “Em-”

“Liam,” I called. I reached him in seconds trying to gently wake him. “Liam, honey, wake up.”

“Emily, no. I have to find her,” he pushed against me.

“Honey,” I called louder. “I’m right here.” His arms reached around me. “You found me.”

His arms snaked tightly around my waist. “Em?”

“I am here,” I whispered as he buried his head in the crook of my neck. I felt the heat of tears soak my skin, and his grip didn’t let up.

“Please don’t leave me,” he begged.

“I’m not going anywhere.” I stroked his back, from the crown of his dark chocolate hair to just above his hipbone. We sat in this style until my feet started going numb.

“Liam… honey? I need--”

“Please don’t ask me to let go.”

“Okay… what about adjusting so we can be more comfortable?”

That seemed a good compromise for him, though he never truly let go of me. We arranged ourselves under the covers until we were both comfortable. He laid against his pillow staring at the ceiling. His arm curled under me as I lay my head on his chest, his cheek against my hair. His pulse slowly returned back to normal. I ran my fingers over his chest, outlining every muscle, hoping to push away all the fear that held tightly to his tension.

After a bit of silence, I finally asked, “What happened?”

He took a deep breath before he began. “It was a world where you didn’t exist. Everywhere I looked there were places that you should’ve been but you were never there. I saw people that love you not even recognize your name. You were nowhere to be found.” His grip got tighter. “The more I asked about you, the crazier people made me feel. When I reached out and couldn’t feel you, my fear felt realized and I screamed.”

This time, I tightened my grip. “I am sorry I wasn’t here for you.”

He moved so that he could face me. He didn’t hesitate to lock his lips with mine. His worry that I could possibly be a dream was apparent and it broke my heart. His dream had broken him. There have only been two times in our life together that I have seen him this scared: the day his father died, and the time I was in an accident with a couple of broken ribs. He is my pillar of strength, so I had no idea how to console him when his fear got the better of him.

His kisses let up once his brain was satisfied with my existence. “I love you, Emily.”

“I love you, Liam,” I whispered. His hands tried to reach every bit of me, and with a giggle, I teased. “I am real. Do you need another makeout session to prove it?”

“In a minute I’m sure,” he smiled back. “My dream just felt so real. I hated that feeling.”

“I am sorry, sweetheart.” I snuggled closer to him and intertwine our legs. He rested his forehead against mine.

“Why weren’t you in bed,” he finally asked.

“I couldn’t sleep and I didn’t want to disturb you,” I stated. “I thought I would read a book in the living room until I felt sleepy. You looked like you had a crazy long day, so I thought that was the best way not to disturb you.”

I lifted my arm to run my fingers through his hair. “What’s on your mind,” he whispered. I met his mossy green eyes, they were so concerned. I smiled sweetly and leaned in to peck his lips.

“You,” I finally answered. “I was thinking about you today. You are the man of my dreams, but there are times when I wonder if I am really what you need in life. I am bossy, independent, and not much for socializing in the societal circles you need to mingle in sometimes.” I took a deep breath and continued. “God blessed me with everything I ever wanted when he brought me to you, but there are times when I am just a little curious as to whether I am everything you ever wanted.”

He opened his mouth to protest, but I cut him off with another kiss, and one last comment, “After tonight I doubt I will ever question that again.” I kissed him a little harder this time.

“You should go get changed for bed,” he suggested. I smiled, remembering that I was still in my jeans and blouse from working in the office today. He let me slip out of bed and get changed into my pajama shorts and one of his oversized t-shirts. I grabbed my book and crawled into bed with my husband moving to snuggle close to me. He looked at the book in my hand and gave me a scowl.

“What?” I asked. He growled in response. “Can I at least finish my chapter? Your scream interrupted the best part.”

“No,” he demanded. He pulled the book from my hand, put it on his nightstand, turned back to me, leaned over to flip off my lamp, and pulled me into an embrace. “It is bedtime.”

I didn’t protest, just snuggled closer and teased, “Yes, honey.”