What are you doing New Year’s Eve?

I look up at the clock as it reads six in the morning.

Thank goodness I am almost done with this shift and then I get the whole weekend off.

As I am restocking shelves, Dr. Walker comes up behind me, “I just wanted to say thank you for all your help today, Chloe. I am thankful you were able to cover for Amanda tonight, but I want you to get out of here and enjoy your long weekend.”

I smiled at him as he patted me on the back, “I know this job is not the most glamorous, but you have a gift, and I am glad you are using it to become a PA. You will be wonderful, and good luck in your next rotation!”

“Thank you, Dr. Walker that means a lot to me.” I hugged him goodbye and thanked him for the past six weeks under his wing. Next week I start a new adventure in a new state, where I don’t know anyone, and it will feel like I am starting all over.

“Hey Chloe, how was last night? Anything on the agenda?” my classmate Bryce asks as he comes to relieve me.

“Everything is good just give me a second and I will give you a quick debrief of the floor.” After the debrief I said my goodbyes, grabbed my coat and practically ran to my car.

When I got home Shadow is waiting for me with his leash in his mouth. “I am guessing you want to run before being trapped in a car, don’t you?” Shadow gives a slight whine before wagging his tail like crazy. I go to my bedroom to change from my scrubs to running attire. I send a quick text to Ryan:

Just got home…long shift, but I am going to run Shadow before you drop by so give me 30 min.

I grab Shadow’s leash, put on my headphones, and blast some music as we head out. As the sun is rising over the pond in the park you can see the light glistening off the frozen trees and bushes surrounding the pond. I let Shadow off the leash to go run on the frozen pond and chase his ball while I rest on the bench and enjoy the chilly air. God, please help me to relax during this weekend and enjoy my family before I fly off onto my next adventure.

I looked at my watch and realized I was running late. I called for Shadow, and we headed home. We get up to the house and I see Ryan’s truck in the driveway. He is early…as usual. I walk in and before I can get out a snarky comment Shadow attacks Ryan on the couch and I take that opportunity to jump in the shower and get ready for the evening.

I slip on a warm sweater and comfy jeans with leggings underneath knowing full well the cousins would want to play in the freezing cold snow and knowing me I could never say no.

Ryan comes up behind me and holds me in his arms for a bit. “Are you sure you are going to be ok with no sleep?” I smile because he knows I am going to say yes, no matter what.

“Being with my family will rejuvenate my spirits. Besides I need to make the most of it because come Monday I am on a plane to Chicago, and I won’t be back for 6 weeks.”

Ryan turns my body so I am facing him, “I can hear the fear in the back of your throat, Chloe.”

He places his forehead on mine and I push in to show that I appreciate his affection. “You are going to be amazing and even though you will be far away nothing is going to change.” He pulls me in for a hug and just holds me tight. If I could freeze this moment forever I would. Ryan is too good for me and sometimes I wonder why in the world he picked me. Every time I ask him he just looks at me and says, “God brought you to me and I am just the lucky guy that gets to walk on this journey with you.”

Knock, Knock,

Tree comes into the room and looks at us with a big smile, “I made you guys some breakfast before you head out.”

Ryan grabs my hand and leads me to the dining room table where Tree set the table and placed the French toast in the center. After our breakfast Ryan and I helped clean up then we grabbed our coats, said our goodbyes and headed out the door with Shadow in tail.

I punch in the coordinates to the cabin on Ryan’s GPS and put on some nice calming love music. I laid my head back against my chair and let the music fill the car. Ryan reached over and grabbed my hand and interlocked his fingers with mine. His thumb was drawing circles on top of my thumb and I just let myself drift away.

I wake up to Ryan’s cold hand stroking my cheek and I smile as my eyes lock onto his. He leans in and gives me a quick kiss, “Hey, sleeping beauty, we are here and we better get in before we get ambushed by your cousins.”

Shadow and I jump out and he in turn runs immediately into a snow pile and comes out looking like Santa Paws. I laugh as he tries to shake off the snow but it just sticks to him like glue.

As Ryan and I are walking to the door I heard a twig snap in the woods and giggling coming from a nearby bush. Ryan looks at me and smiles, “Sounds like we are surrounded. How should we respond?”

I reach down and grab some snow, “Follow my lead.” I get Shadow’s attention and signal for him to go cause a distraction. Shadow immediately runs to the bush and three of my cousins start giggling and screaming because they are under attack. When they pop up from behind the bush they start throwing snowballs while Ryan and I dish it right back.

After about fifteen minutes I was about to win when Ryan picked me up and tossed me into a thick snow pile. I gave a squeal as snow went down my coat and pants. Ryan reached down and picked me up and laughed as he wiped the snow off my body. I laughed along with him and punched his shoulder. He grabbed me and kissed my forehead before we walk into the house.

As we walk in, grandma yells from the kitchen, “Hot chocolate for everyone on the table, but you better not track any mud in the house you rotten children.” We all laugh as we hang up our coats and place our boots on the drying matt. Conversation sparks the minute we walk into the living room as my whole family sits and converses about the latest updates in everyone’s lives. I grab my hot chocolate and join Ryan on the couch while he talks to my father about the latest football antics.

“Dinner is served everyone so let’s sit around the table so the food doesn’t get cold.” We all shuffle around the table as grandpa stands up to make his New Year’s Eve speech.

“Thank you everyone for coming tonight. I love that we are able to rent this place out and spend an amazing weekend with each other. I know that tomorrow is the family ice hockey tournament, but for tonight I want us all to come together and really think about how we want this next year to go. God has blessed this family in so many ways and it is our job to take those blessings and share them with others. A new year means new beginnings and my prayer for this family is that we will take any new challenge and face it head on with the Lord at our side. Where there is fear there is courage and remember that.”

Grandpa sits down and proceeds to pray for the food. Once dinner is over I help my mom and grandma clear the table and do dishes. I look at the clock, ugh only 8pm why does it feel so late? I walk by the front door to see the majority of the cousins are getting their things on to go play tackle football.

Ryan looks at me, “Want to come and play with us babe?” I smiled and shook my head but I could see that Ryan was still concerned. After he left I went downstairs and Shelly, my sister, was watching Singing in the Rain.

“What are you doing?” Shelly looks up at me, “hiding from the kids.”

I laugh as I join her on the couch. “Well I will join you but no guarantees I will be able to keep my eyes open. It was a long shift.”

I wake up to the sound of my name being whispered in my ear and a hand gently shaking me awake. I open my eyes to see Ryan above me with his big brown eyes. Ugh why is this guy just so darn cute?!

“Hey honey, let’s go take a little walk I just want to talk to you before we both go to bed.”

I get up and follow him up the stairs to get our coats and shoes on. When we stepped outside the bitter air hit me so hard my sleepy demeanor was gone.

We were holding hands and walking in silence until we got to the frozen pond then Ryan stopped. “Hey are you ok? I mean you know if something was bothering you I am here to listen.”

I looked out on the lake debating whether I tell him or not. Ryan reached over and grabbed my chin and made me look into his eyes. You punk! You know I cannot resist those puppy dog eyes. “Ok fine, I am scared about leaving for Chicago. I mean what if I am no good there and I am not really meant to be a PA? I don’t want to go all the way out there where I have no support system and fail.”

Ryan wrapped his arms around me and I put mine around his torso and started to cry.“Are you worried about failing or are you scared of a new adventure?”

I sniffled “I don’t know maybe both.”

Ryan lifted my chin up toward him, “Chloe, you are the most extraordinary person I know, and God has given you a heart for the field you are in. Are you telling me you worked your butt off for the past year in the classroom just to give up 6 weeks into your rotations because you are scared of being away? You have literally nothing to worry about because you have God on your side and with him you can conquer all. Also Chicago is only a two hour flight from here so I will be able to come see you whenever you send me a SOS.” I smile as another tear falls down my cheek.

Ryan wipes it away with his thumb, “I believe in you Chloe and in your heart you know this is exactly what you want, so instead of running away from it you should run towards it.”

I nod as I put my arms around his neck and he lifts me up for a kiss. “Thank you for that. I love you so much.”

Just then a firework burst into the sky and I practically jumped into Ryan’s arms. Two more followed close behind and more after that. I could see my cousins on the other side of the pond lighting off some of their fireworks.

Ryan wrapped me in his arms and pushed his forehead against mine, “Happy New Year my love.”